Friday, April 3, 2009

Etiquette Advice Giving

Another Friday, and something else is now grinding my gears. Last Friday it was the angry parent who, in a nut shell, literally got upset with me because I got on to her child for not completing class work (and for the record, the child simply did not even attempt to work...no mark on her paper not even her name).

Today is a new annoyance, but thankfully it isn't effecting me too personally yet it did get me thinking. Maybe it got me thinking too much because on my way home from reading my celebrity gossip magazines at Barnes and Noble tonight I was frustrated.

I am a firm believer in boundaries within relationships (rather romantic or friendly). One boundary that is important to me is receiving advice. I seek advice from only people who: I trust, love, who love me, and who I have a close relationship with. Anyone outside that box who over steps the "advice giving boundary" has crossed a line (with me at least).

Well, today I heard a person inform another person that their inspection sticker was expired on their car. Then this person proceeded to say that they "better go get that taken cared of". Now, I am only using this as an example. The two people in this scenario may feel comfortable enough for one of them to tell the other what they "should do." But it brought flashbacks to me for some reason of people who I considered to not necessarily be an acquaintance but not really a friend yet they felt compelled to give me advice on something or told me what I needed to do anyway.

This annoyed me greatly and it may be because I can be ultra sensitive to being told what to do by others. However, if I do not ask for the advice but yet it's being given or if a person who is giving me advice is outside my box then I become offended. I also think that my sensitivity to this issue is driven by the fact that I am a young woman and the people who I work with are older, married, have kids, or more work experience than I and therefore they subconsciously feel the need to "direct" me.

Here's my rule: There are people in my life who have every right to tell me or advise me in some way at any time in my life. Those people are: my close friends, my parents, my siblings, my higher authorities (mentor, boss, etc.) and anyone else who like I said before; I can trust, love, who love me, and who I have a close relationship with. Anyone else should only give advice when it is asked for. It's proper etiquette. I don't think it only applies to me but to others as well.

Now, maybe I'm just being a baby about all of it, but I still feel very strong in the fact that I only want advice from people who I have relationships with, not the "more than acquaintance but not quite a friend" people (unless I ask).

Does anyone else feel this way too? Maybe we could start a support group. :)

Okay, my whining spill is done...I'm off the soap box...and I read in the magazines tonight that Britney desperately wants K-Fed back. Hmm...

1 comment:

Amber Ruth said...

i totally would support the support group. =)